Final Lessons from My Dad


I could never imagine what it would be like to lose a parent.  My friend Karen and I would talk about it and become so panicked we'd have to re-direct our thoughts and conversation to something mundane like shopping.

Now I know what it's like.  Five days before Christmas; five days before my birthday.  Christmas, birthdays, everything is changed forever.  I've lived long enough and experienced enough to know life is change and with change often comes heartache but also new rituals, new traditions and new beginnings.

I know a lot of new things now.  I know how very important family is.  What would I do without my sisters, their families and my incredible Mom.  I know how comforting true friends are and how little things like a hand-written poem, can mean so much.  I know what a rock and source of strength and love my husband Dave is.  I know how a monumental family crisis brings out the best and the most incredible wisdom in our little ones; the maturity in our youth.  I know what it's like to be comforted in the arms of my son.

There is something else I now know... about our soldiers.  I already knew how they lay their lives on the line for us on the battlefield. My Dad, American-born,  was a World War II veteran who served in Italy and North Africa with the U.S. Army and post war, training young soldiers in unarmed combat as an officer with Royal Hamilton Light Infantry.  My Mom and sisters and I were not a part of that aspect of my Dad's life, other than the occasional parade, visit to the Armouries on James St., or the Royal Hamilton Military Institute where Major Robert Prahm Smith (ret.) was a Past President.

I knew that when we were little, my Dad would make sure senior members of the regiment, like Jimmy Marsh, the photographer at my parents wedding, would be able to attend Mess Dinners.  He would pick them up and drive them back home.  In my Dad's later years, John Tinsley did the same for him:  a wonderful legacy I know the Riley's will continue.

These past several years, I accompanied my Dad to the annual War of 1812 Memorial Services at Smith's Knoll in Stoney Creek, organized by the American Legion Post 18.  My Dad was one of the founding members along with the late Ralph Sazio.  I remember my Dad's photo in the Spectator bending down beside U.S. Civil War hero William Winer Cooke's headstone, discovered during a Decoration Day in Hamilton Cemetery back in the 60's.  Post 18 honoured by Dad two years ago for 50 years of service.  Right up until this past year, I read a poem at the service and took my Dad back to the Legion Hall for lunch afterward.

As a journalist, I often looked to my Dad for story ideas and insights.  In civilian life he was one of Ontario’s most respected marine surveyors, right up until this past spring. The folks at the waterfront nicknamed him “Skipper” and gave him an orange flotation vest in case he fell in. He never did.

Bob Smith found his way into many of my news reports for CHCH-TV, including the Royal Hamilton Military Institute cannon heist.  The antique cannon disappeared when a demo crew torn down the old "Officers Club" at Park and Robinson St. in Hamilton and my Dad led the charge to get it back.  They did and it now resides in its new home on the waterfront at HMCs Star.
So these were the things I knew about my Dad and his military affiliations. 

What I didn't know was how his military community would lift us up and carry us through the difficult journey of my Dad's passing and his final salute.  From RHLI Padre Rev. Kristine Swire to Hon. Col. Tim Hogarth, "Bobby's"  Riley compadres and RHLI Band bugler Matt Minnick who played the Last Post,  to American Legion Chaplain Bruce Lacillade, Chuck Webber, Jerry Plumbley and the legionnaires who presented my Mom with the American flag and formed an honour guard as we exited the chapel...your words, your show of respect and love for my Dad and our family has been the greatest gift of all this Christmas season.

Hamilton's musical treasure and friend to veterans Sarena Paton sang told me she was sorry she never got to sing for my Dad but she did sing for him, at his funeral service, "We'll Meet Again".  And while we don't know where, don't know when, I now know it will happen some sunny day just as I now know that the special bond between our soldiers and their community in times of gentle need is as strong and mighty as in any theatre of war.  Thank you.

(read a story about Maj. Robert P. "Bobby" Smith in "The Fighting Rileys, 150 Years of Service to Canada" by Shelagh Whitaker,  page 402.)







My Dinner with Olivia

connie smith |

MY DINNER WITH OLIVIA

Olivia Newton-John at CARMEN'S BANQUET CENTRE, Hamilton ON

 photograph by Reg Beaudry

I stood in line in a roomful of fans and VIPs to have my

photo taken with her. After introducing myself and

explaining I was the one who would be interviewing                            

her, she told me she was glad we were doing it this

way instead of a long, boring speech. (As if, for her

adoring fans, watching Olivia Newton-John do or say

anything could be boring!)

How do you prepare for an interview with an icon?

She is arguably one of the most storied recording

artists/actors/activists in the world; star of the most

successful movie musical in history, whose journey

with breast cancer almost 20 years ago spawned a

new direction in music and life, dedicated to helping

people everywhere facing adversity in their lives. It

was this journey that brought Olivia Newton-John to

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

So I read a biography on her, scoured websites,

articles, watched her movies and listened to her

albums...well not quite all...there are now

41...counting her latest Christmas album with John

Travolta.

Olivia had sent her Grease co-star and long-time

friend, a text that their 1978 smash hit , “You're the

One That I Want,” had just become the best-selling

duet in pop music history.

Travolta suggested they do an album together in

honour of the occasion. The pair reunited after 30

years to record "This Christmas", with proceeds

benefiting a foundation in aid of children with

disabilities named after John's late son, Jett; the other

to support the Olivia Newton-John Cancer and

Wellness Centre that opened this past summer in

Melbourne, Australia, where the Cambridge,

England-born star grew up.

I was ready and I also had a gift for Olivia; one that

has travelled around the world with me. It is a framed

photo of her father, Brin Newton-John, a wellrespected

professor who appeared on a TV show in

Newcastle, New South Wales back in the 60's. One

of the young cameramen in the photo was my

husband Dave, when he was breaking into the

industry. Dave Wilson became an award-wining

producer and director at CHCH-TV in Hamilton.

When I saw this photo, I knew I had a mission.

Last February, NBN celebrated its 50th anniversary

on the air and alumni from around the world returned

for the celebration.

Quick digression: ONJ's brush with breast cancer

also inspired a new holistic approach to life. She coowns

an award-winning retreat and spa in Byron Bay,

Australia called "Gaia" which means Spirit of Mother

Earth.

Byron Bay was a bit of a trek up the famous Gold

Coast from Newcastle but a perfect chance to visit

Gaia and its famous proprietor. Alas, as it turned out,

a planned meeting and interview was not to be. The

very day and a half set aside for Byron Bay conflicted

with a last minute publicity trip to Europe for Olivia.

Months later, upon word that Olivia was coming to

Carmen's as the special guest at a fundraiser for the

new CIBC Breast Assessment Centre, I reconnected

with Olivia's publicist. Carmen's, host of the

fundraiser, ”Singing a New Tune”, asked me to

conduct a Q & A … and I would finally get to present

that gift!

So I began with thanking Olivia for coming to see

me! (Haha). She loved the photo and our enchanted

chat began.

She learned of her diagnosis with breast cancer the

same weekend her father died. She never asked

“Why me?” “Why not me?” was her response when I

asked how she dealt with the news.

Sitting three down from her at the head table, I

glanced at her as she sipped wine and enjoyed her

meal. Does she watch what she eats, I later asked.

“I believe in moderation”, she replied, “and living well”.

And living well she does these days in Jupiter, Florida

with her second husband John Easterling, owner and

founder of Amazon Herb Company.

There were questions from the audience:

“How hot was John Travolta?” Olivia graciously

referred to the fun they have working together.

I ask, “Is it true you were sewn into those tight black

pants everyday?” “Yes they were before spandex.”

In a tribute to the Pink Ladies of Grease, a Hamilton

Pink Ladies Club donned their satin jackets they

proudly wear for the BrightRun, an annual event in

support of Breast Cancer Research in Greater

Hamilton Today.

Was it also true that early in her career as a young

teen in London, she inadvertently ended up

performing in a strip club? Yup. She sang with a

friend Pat CarrolI and somehow got booked into this

strip club to perform. She laughs, “We weren`t asked

back!”

She talked about the thrill of dancing with Gene Kelly

in “Xanadu” and singing before a TV audience in the

billions during the Sydney Olympics.

As for her other greatest thrill? Olivia's 26 year-old

daughter Chloe is fine... “sorting things out” as she

attempts to follow in her famous mother's singing and

acting footsteps and yes, at a still glamorous 64, she

is looking forward to becoming a grandmother one

day.

Olivia heads back on the road in December to

complete a U.S. tour followed by a U.K. Tour in the

New Year, her first in 30 years to celebrate 40 years in

music. And before every concert she and her crew

will form a spirit circle to express their Grace and

Gratitude, one of the songs she sang that night and

words she now lives by: her “motto”. The other song

she chose to sing was “Magic”.

A fan asks what's her advice to women fighting

breast cancer or any serious challenge today.

Women must empower themselves and put

themselves first, she says and not feel they have to do

it all…please everyone all the time.

A woman Olivia once encountered in a ladies room

after her battle with breast cancer became public, told

her how she had breast cancer 20 years ago and is

fine now. Olivia says that was the moment she knew

she would be fine too. Nearly 20 years later Olivia

Newton-John is very fine indeed.

She refers to the innocent schoolgirl role in the movie

that made her so famous as “Sandy 1” who

transforms into the not-so-innocent ready-to-take-onthe-

world “Sandy 2”. Today “Olivia 2”, stands as a

beacon of hope and wisdom to women travelling that

same path everywhere.

The Carmen's event raised $60,000 for Hamilton's

new CIBC Breast Assessment Centre. Olivia we

love you. We honestly love you.

CONNIE SMITH

is a Hamilton freelance journalist

and part-time media instructor at Mohawk College.

She can be reached on FB, LinkedIn, and

Twitter@TVConnie. conniesmithtoday.blogspot.com.

Find out more about Olivia at olivianewton-john.com.

The World's A Kinder Place Tonight

It's been a while since I've been inspired to write.  But something happened today, two things actually, that have raised my spirits and renewed my faith in the next generation.  Most importantly, they made my dad, Maj. Robert P. Smith (ret.), RHLI , a World War II veteran now fighting some significant health battles, smile.

My niece (his granddaughter) invited my dad, along with my mom Audrey, to be the special guests at Burlington's Maplehurst Public School's Remembrance Day Ceremony.   The well-prepared M.C.'s introduced the most poignant Remembrance day video, "A Pittance of Time" by Nova Scotia's Terry Kelly, a wonderful singer-songwriter I had interviewed in the past.  The school choir, immaculately dressed for the occasion, including our nine-year-old Sierra, sang the chorus.  Sierra never took her eyes off the choir leader, concentrating on every word, every note.  She knew this was an important day.  She had just had her ears pierced and wore her "high heels".  When the song ended, with my sister Barbi, her mom, willing back tears, she ran over to my parents and thanked them for coming.

For these children, who knew no more about war than a chapter in their history books or one of those video games, they saw before their very eyes, a real life superhero, a little different from the Hollywood variety.  They thanked my dad, and walked by in awe, mesmerized by his medals, his actual presence.

It was what happened next that broadened his smile even more.  They went for a coffee and something to eat.  It was lunchtime and students from nearby Nelson High School were flooding the coffee shop.  My sister turned toward the door in search of a less crowded venue when someone behind the counter said, "Wait, don't go.  We'll clear you a table." Then two young girls at the front of the line said, "Please take our place."  So with cane in hand, medals shining and legion cap perched atop his head, my dad led my mom and my sister to a table of honour at their neighbourhood Tim Horton's.  By the way his coffee and apple fritter were on the house.

Please take a moment to watch this video and think of my dad and all the super heros who have laid their lives on the line for our freedom...for our country.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2kX_3y3u5Uo